Only Twenty Two

At kia every pay day is a day wrought with thoughts of the future.

I know it wears on my wife’s nerves at times.

With my retirement and insurance plan, we’ll be very well off (when we’re 70).

I’m grateful for that, but it seems so hard to get ahead right now and i get impatient.

And then reality sets in:

“Jeremy..” says I to myself, “now Jeremy, what you gotta realize is that you’re 22. you just graduated. you’re not supposed to breaking the bank.”

I’m grateful for my salary. And i’m glad i get to scrape through the next year or so with my girl

Love Me Some ‘Poppers!!

The past few weeks, I’ve been taking stock of my adult life.

I’m working full time, taking classes in the evening. I make good money and have an excellent wife.

I guess, the only thing i’ve been missing is having a lot of friends my own age to hang out with.

At Geneva I couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone my own age who would want to share a coffee.

now i have about 30 middle aged guys who would love to complain about young lazy people and those explative democrats ruining the country.

In spite of all this, God is good. My 2 techs at work are really cool. chris is 28 and eric is 19… and although we frustrate each other when things get busy, we always find ourselves ruthlessly making fun of each other and laughing about any number things.

I’m thankful for my friends though i miss the christian fellowship aspect… but perhaps god is making this my mission field.

who knows?

Interesting

a google for most stressful jobs turns up the following #1 article…

 

The one thing on which numerous stress studies conducted in the past 15 years can agree is that stress can - - and does - - occur in every occupation. The amount and type of stress that might be experienced by workers within that occupation will be dependent upon many factors. These include performance demands, interpersonal demands, and physical demands.

Jobs that require employees to hide their true feelings and emotions are considered to be the most stressful. These would include jobs in:

- medicine,
- teaching,
- social services,
- customer service,
- fire rescue and
- law enforcement.

uggh…. you have NO idea how true that is.

mom said customer service is a constant roller coaster ride.

it makes weekends feel like the slow click… click… click up the first big hill.

then monday rolls around and woosh.

you’re in for the ride of your life.

“IF MY PEOPLE.”

this morning at work there was a traveling monument to 9/11. it’s called Day of Thunder. a couple hundred motorcycles go down rt. 36. a string of city cops go before them and a string of state cops follow them. Trooper 5, our medivac helicopter flew low over them. at the end the intersection, lavale’s fire department had a huge flag hanging over the highway from one of their truck ladders.

 

as much as i disagree with our president. as much as i fear for our future. as much as i worry about the world my children will inherit, i’m still proud of our country. maybe not for the glorious things they’ve done, but just because it’s MY country.

“if my people shall call on my name and humble themselves, i will raise them up and make them great.”

Strengths and Struggles

In the past few weeks, I’ve sent out more resumes than i care to admit. Selling yourself to a company you’ll more than likely hate is tiring… but it also makes you think …I’m not the most athletic guy.

I’m funny, but there are funnier. I’m smart but I’m not the smartest. It’s quite humbling to realize that no matter what I may think I excel at, there is always going to be one (probably many) other person(s) who are better. discouraging? not necessarily. 

 Through the years, I’ve come to recognize what my spiritual gifts are. I know they include giving and mercy. I also know what my talents are: resourceful, people-smart, and clever. But like we learned in strategic management, having all the resources and plans in the world is useless unless you can implement them.

Basically, I need more discipline. I think kelly and i need more of it as a couple. Right now, we’re in a difficult spot with work, school, and family all fighting for time…but I don’t think i handle my responsibilities as well as i should. I got in trouble for missing to much work. I have consistent grades, but they’re not at the level i’d like. Being a new bride, kelly rightfully wants to develop a lot of intimacy, which requires time. so…what do i do

 Right now, i get between 5 and 6 hours of sleep a night…should i be staying up later to get more quantity of work done yet sacrifice more quality? I’m not sure.

Here’s what i want to do.

Kelly and I had always enjoyed going to starbucks or the BiffCAT to read and drink coffee. Although reading isn’t really good interaction, it’s something that winds us down and is also productive when it’s required reading for school. Generally we watch Friends or the Office, but I want us to be a reading couple. Right now, i’ll be reading school or business stuff, but come may, we can read books on marriage or other stuff and discuss them.

Secondly i want us to develop a more regular time for prayer and bible study. we don’t do this nearly as much as we should. I think the benefits are three fold like Chandler living in a box. The first are the benefits from a close relationship with God: more christlike lives and marriage. Secondly, when we open up ourselves to God in the context of our marriage, we are allowing the other to see the real us. We both want more of that. Thirdly it is more concentrated time of intentional intimacy. Quality vs. quantity time kind of a thing.

So yeah…those are my guts. i just spilled them. i want to be a godly man with my godly wife raising godly children. It will be much easier if we set those patterns now rather than in 2,5, or 10 years. It’s hard being so busy, but i know it would be worth it… I love my wife. she’s my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be the husband she deserves, and i think being more disciplined will make me a better husband to my wife. a better father to my children. a better worker for my employer. and most importantly a better servant for my Lord. 

Stream of Conscience

“Just tune in, turn off, drop out, drop in, switch off, switch on, and explode”

So this week has been absolutely, positively, without a doubt one of the busiest weeks I have ever experienced. I was scheduled to work 30 hours this week in addition to my normal class load. I had a political science paper due tuesday. I thought it was due thursday when I found out Tuesday that it’s due Tuesday. I had about half of it completed. So I finished my day classes and ran home. I decided to skip my boring night class to finish my poli. sci. paper. I still had a test in plato, a paper in strategic management, and a test in auditing to study for. Wednesday i called off work and started studying for my tests. I found out wednesday that my strategic management paper was pushed back till a date to be determined. Yesterday came and went. I took my tests and Plato went a lot better than i thought it would. Auditing went as well as I thought.

 “Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box; they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.”

Lately I’ve been kinda down. I’m sure the sheer exhaustion has a lot to do with it. Right now Kelly and I are living off what little income we have plus what’s left of my savings. For a guy that’s huge… for me (an accountant) it’s even more so. We’re banking so much my getting a good job. I need money to cover expenses plus start saving again. It’s always on the the back of my mind, but I have faith God will provide for us. I’ve also been really self-conscious about my appearance. Over the past few months I’ve put on about 20 pounds… which is really noticeable. I’ve decided to start exercising regularly, and I’ve changed my diet already… it’s hard when a double cheeseburger is so much cheaper than salad stuff. I just don’t need to be stressed about this when there’s a lot of other stuff going on. For now, I’ll be like the blue people…

 

“They’re great! They’re just… chilled out!”  

Married life is better than ever. Kelly’s been wonderful and supportive through everything. She’s amazing and I love her so much. We’re surviving though. Keeping faith that God will take care of us when we get to Cumberland. 

 

47 days till Maryland.  

Blogging on a Monday Night

So life remains to be busy; but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Kelly and I have been having a good time. It..t seems as though blogs tend to be a be a means of venting frustrations…or complaining and not feeling guilty…that’s not the case for some people, but i know that’s what my blog can be about…so before i write about what’s bothering me, I’ll write about what I’m thankful for.This weekend with my wife has been really good. we did absolutely nothing, and it was amazing. Work had been difficult and it made that much-needed rest all the sweeter. It was truly a blessed sabbath.Kelly and i also had a good night tonight. I don’t really like reality tv shows, but there’s one on ABC about newly weds and it’s turned out to be a good conversation starter We’re learning more about each other’s communication styles and what we need to do to make the other happy. We want to be as close to each other as possible, and we love being around each other, and we’re learning to do that in better and better ways.I’ve been able to apply to a lot of jobs. although it’s a bit early to really get serious about applying, mom’s really been on the ball for me, and i really appreciate it… hopefully the openings will keep open till may ( 2 months in the world of business is close to an eternity).So here’s what’s frustrating:TARGET CORPORATIONmy boss was in a bad mood. he’s unappreciative and kind of a jerk. but i suppose you’ll have that. i’m really tired of target. i’ve worked there since august doing the same trivial tasks. i do the same work over and over again. it’s getting boring. i’m tired of going unnoticed. I want to be salaried. i want benefits. i want more security. i want opportunities for growth. i think those are things that God intended work to be for men. Since creation it was to give us purpose and be a special part of our lives. and i’ve come to realize that Target is not my final calling. I must acquire the patience to endure this necessary step in the process that will refine me into a good employee and hopefully manager one day.i love my wife and struggle with being content with my job.life is beautiful. 

THIS JUST IN!

WE GOT THE APARTMENT ON WASHINGTON STREET!!!!!!W3 m0v3 1n 0n the 14th of m4y!f4r3w3ll stupid old b34v3r f4lls! 

Today

So today has been up and down… mostly up, but one down is enough to put a damper on the evening. Work was good. I was busy and went fast (especially the second half). Class went well. When i got home, the apartment smelled bad because of some chicken we had the other night. I took the garbage out and lit every candle within a one mile radius. The job search is going okay..however…there’s someone in mine and kelly’s past that really stirs things up… it’s a her… she used to like me and has had a really hard time getting over her feelings… in fact i don’t think she’s tried at all. anytime she tries to communicate, kelly gets upset; and understandably so.If i were to die right now…there would be only one thing i would want to say before my last breath escapes me…and that is to let my wife know just how much i love her. I never want anything to make kelly feel like she has to compete for my time or attention. I’ve done everything i can to avoid that girl… i just want kelly to know how i feel. how my desire is only for her and her well being. i love you kelly. you’re my love. my future. my wife. 

207 Washington Street Apt. 4

So my weekend here in cumberland with kelly is quickly coming to an end. It was good, albeit short. I had my interview at Timbrook’s on the seventh. It went well i suppose. Since I don’t know Freddie that well, I had a hard time reading him; so I’m not sure if I rocked it or sucked.

Then I started the interview process with the United States Postal Service, which will be interesting. So I’m known for my disdain for government bureaucracy… but they pay $20/hour… that’s base pay. that’s for a window clerk. There are 2,080 hours in a year, which puts me just over 41k. They said there’s required overtime that usually puts people over 57k. Why, yes I would love to deliver mail : )

I still have to take a test and get an interview first… so that’s still in the works. I also have my cover letter, resume, and references being sent out to First Peoples Credit Union and the Western Maryland Health System. I have faith that God will provide for Kelly and me… I’m sure I’ll get one of those four jobs.

Throughout our visit, kelly and i had been looking at houses and apartments to rent; we had an appointment for saturday at 11 to go look at a one bedroom apt. on washington street, which is in the rich historical district of Cumberland. Kelly and I were so tired, we were almost going to call and cancel, but we dragged ourselves out of bed and went. Boy, are we glad we did! the apartment was beautiful, and even though it’s only one bedroom, it’s rather large. The size, the location, and the price were the good things. The lack of laundry, awkward closets, and hosts of stairs were the downers… but nothing a laundramat and an extra dresser can’t fix ; )

welp we’re off to church, so we’ll see you soon